High school wasn't very much fun for me. I didn't have a lot in common with the people I was with. I wasn't 4.0-enough to hang with the smart kids, or drunk enough for the football-team-and-cheerleader crowd, and I didn't have enough facial piercings to feel at home with the "alternative" crowd. I was kind of stuck. I rotated between the groups, never fitting into anything, hanging out with everyone a little. My teachers saw that I was drifting, and several told me the same thing again and again: "You'll do great in college".
So I guess I've been waiting for college like it was the promised land, full of parties and Fall Out Boy playing at 3AM and boys mature enough to date, a mixed bag of independence. I didn't think once, among all my different fantasies, about how much schoolwork would be involved.
I'm so glad I decided to go the MOWR route and experience my first college classes as a senior, because I think I would lose it if I jumped next year into a new state, new town, new room, paying bills and health insurance, grocery shopping, driving everywhere; even parallel parking (!!!)...AND having 5 or 6 rigorous academic classes a week. Because in addition to figuring yourself out, college is a lot of work. You make your own schedule, and procrastinating can drive you into the ground deeper than any "I didn't do my homework because I didn't feel like it" could in high school.
At the same time as feeling a little overwhelmed, I'm kind of proud. I'm trying not to let anxiety run my life. I went out to dinner last night and ate chocolate lava cake with a friend, and I didn't feel like crawling into a hole and dying from shirked responsibility. So this has shown me that I think I'll be ready next year. Everything moves fast when you're a teenager. But if you breathe and have time to get on Netflix every little while, it will all turn out alright. Probably. ✿
I barely have two friends from high school, and trust me, we didn't fit in anywhere either. I wish college was just a few parties and FOB playing till 3 AM. I'd feel more comfortable about going to class with people I don't know. I'm doing dual enrollment too, and even though it's a lot more work than high school, it's a lot better in my opinion. Are you still taking classes at high school, or are you taking all of them at MGSU? If you are, I salute you because that's impressive.
ReplyDelete